The Summary of 2020

A Year of Challenges

We can all agree that 2020 has been a very challenging year and we have learned to adjust our lives in so many ways. Whether our job, finances, family life or self-esteem has been effected, each one of us has been forced to step back and look at how these times and events  have changed us and changed the way we live. To add to these challenges, the regular turns of life are also piling up and forcing us to make decisions we may not want to make. There’s so much to do and to figure out, that we start feeling overwhelmed, stressed, confused and frustrated because we don’t know where to begin.

New Year’s Resolutions

Now, we are approaching the end of the year. What that means, our  New Year’s Resolutions are here and boy are they plentiful. How can we choose a resolution when there is so much we would like to change? For the most part, history shows that these resolutions turn out to be more like wish lists. We make a decision to change our bodies, our futures and our relationships and this “new” resolution does what it did the year before. It works for the first week or if we are lucky, for the next two weeks.

Here’s the Problem

As we take this  time to reflect on what went right, wrong and what  needs to be changed to come up with our New Year’s Resolution for 2021, we create a list that looks more like a “to do list”.  We go into the new year with an idea but no plan to reach these goals. We are merely make a wish and then get down on ourselves for not following through with our goal.

Make a Plan

So what do we do to actually reach our resolution instead of beating ourselves up for not doing what we told ourselves and everyone else about how we were going to change? The way to stick to a resolution or goal is to make a plan. Create a step by step strategy on HOW you will attain that goal. Schedule the time for it and most importantly decide why this goal is so important to you. Your goal has to mean something to you and be written down for you to have a commitment to yourself. To accomplish what you throw out there as your New Year’s Resolution, you have got to be serious about it. So get to work now and be ready for the time when you  turn the page on 2020 and make your next year count.

2021

Is the Beginning of the Happy “YOU” Year

Get serious about what your goals are and create a plan to actually accomplish them. Starting on Monday mornings, January 4th and Wednesday evenings, January 6th, Power Within Her is offering 4 week Goal Setting Workshops via Zoom, where you will create goals around your intentions and then develop a plan to reach them.

To sign up for a goal setting workshop, click here!

If you have comments, questions or concerns, click here!

Be The Gift That You Are

Shine The Light

As we go through life, we have an abundance of labels placed on us and  we play many roles. We are daughters, sisters, friends, mothers, neighbors, wives and ex-wives. The labels that are put on us vary from one extreme to another but cover things like, female, middle child, divorced, single, pretty, fat, sensitive, bitchy, unemployed and so many others. But none of these things actually say who we are. The roles are what we do and the labels are the opinions of other people. When someone asks us, “Who are you?”, we struggle with the answer. We don’t know who we are. A frequent response may be, “I’m fifty something and I have no idea who I am.” Sound familiar?

You’re Not Alone

Through the course of our lives we have managed to be there for everyone. We’ve done the cooking, cleaning, shopping and scheduling. We’ve loved, supported, nurtured and consoled all the people in our life. For years, we have put everyone first without being asked to, we just do it. But because we are so busy taking care of everybody else’s needs, we fail to address our own. No wonder we end up lost in a world that we created ourselves. Of course we reach a point where we feel alone, empty and unfulfilled. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Take The Time

The answer is easy; the process is not. You need to figure out who that girl is inside of you. Seems like an odd thing to say but that is exactly what needs to happen. The last client I said that to stared at me and said, “I don’t know how to do that. I don’t even know who I am.” My suggestion to her was to do it the same way she would if she were getting to know a friend. Spend time with her. Find out what she likes and dislikes. Discover what makes her smile and laugh.  Walk the beach with her or venture into the woods. What catches her attention? What melts her heart and what makes her feel like a kid again? What’s her favorite movie, song, ice-cream. Spend as much time with her as you can and you will discover what’s in her heart.

You Are The Gift

I can remember hearing about people who would go “find themselves” in a cabin in the woods or at a personal growth retreat.  I didn’t have the time or money to go figure out what was wrong. I discovered who I am between the bus stop and the bedtime stories. I made sure I was present in my life and every moment I got to be with me, I took it. I walked the beach, listened to music, and read motivational books. I played with my children and watched the sunrises every morning that I could. I laid in bed at night and  wrote about my day, my dreams and my goals. I learned about me and paid no mind to what others thought about me. It’s time for you to unwrap the gift that you are and discover what is inside.

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When Life Takes A Detour

Building Strength

So many times I have heard, “… but I’m not as strong as you are”. My reaction is always the same thing … “Oh yes you are, you just don’t know it yet”. I didn’t know I had the strength within me to go through everything that  I struggled with and there were many times when I considered giving up and just accepting my situation as it was. But I wanted more. I wanted my children to have more. As I have stated many times in Power Within Her, I didn’t know what “more” was at the time but I knew it was not what we were living.

Do What You Can

So what I did was focus on “today”. I did what I could and let the rest go. I made sure I was present when my children were home and when they weren’t, I nurtured me. Sure there were times when I wasn’t my best, but on those days, I was the best I could be at that time. The next day, I worked on stepping up my game. I did the house work, shopping, school events and planned my nest day.  At night I would drop into my bed exhausted and sometimes cry myself to sleep but I would not give up. I completed the day and readied myself for the next one. I had no idea what was down the road so I didn’t focus on that. I could only handle what was immediately in front of me.

Wishing The Struggle Away

Our strength comes from the challenges we face and the unknown territory that is ahead of us. I am referring to our struggles and the fear of what is to come. These times should not be wished away. Instead, they should be lived, learned from and remembered. These are the moments when we grow and build our strength. It is not so much the destination we are looking to reach, it is more about how we get to those destinations. Our daily challenges are the victories, the memories and the proof that we did it. Living the experiences is what being alive is all about. Getting through the tough times and setbacks are what makes the outcome so rewarding. Nobody in this world who has reached their goals without struggle and failure.

The Unknowns Of Life

My friend Louisa Stringer, www.louisawiebestringer.com, a Family Caregiving Consultant writes in her documented journey with her family which is published in Expedition Portal https://expeditionportal.com/lumpy-land-roaming/

 “Rough roads don’t just lead to beautiful destinations; they are beautiful destinations. So often, the unknowns of life are what scares us the most. The reality is that these are what life is made of. When you travel down roads or trails that are on areas of the map that have the dotted lines marking dirt or gravel, those are the ones we should be pursuing. More often than not, those are the roads that lead you to places beyond your wildest imagination. They take you away from your thoughts and into your soul to remind you that beauty is everywhere we turn in this world. It takes a lot of slowing down to see it.”

Louisa’s journey with her family reminds us that it is the paths we travel that give our lives such meaning. The unpredicted journeys bring us to amazing destinations, but we need to explore the unchartered paths and live in each moment. Sometimes it’s the biggest struggles that unveils the most beautiful destinations. Don’t rush life by, live it.

Enjoy the ride!!!

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