Let Go Of The Past

You can’t change what has already happened. But, you can create your future!

The insanity is that we spend years and sometimes decades holding on to our past. Sometimes we can’t let go of a love that went wrong or a painful childhood that we lived. Some of us question why our parents weren’t better or why our husband was with someone else. We stop ourselves from moving forward because we are so busy looking back at what would have, could have or should have been. Why do we waste all this time? The problem is, we can’t change it and we can’t relive it. Yet we hold on and re-hash it over and over again.

“It’s Who I Am”

I was talking with a friend who has been struggling with lack of motivation. She wants to move forward, but can’t seem to do what she knows she needs to do. During our conversation, she mentioned that she saved everything from her divorce. When I asked why, she said she didn’t know, maybe the kids would want it. In addition, she told me she didn’t want to sell her parent’s house. They had been gone for years. She didn’t want the house, but it was the house she grew up in.  She couldn’t let go of the past because she was viewing it as her life. She was using it to validate who she was. What a revelation! Here she was telling me that she wants to move forward, yet she won’t let go of the past. She’s stuck.

You Are Not Your Past

Similar to the roles we play in our lives, our past does not determine who we are. We may be mothers,  sisters and co-workers, but that is not who we are, it’s what we do. It’s the same thing with our past. It could be we were neglected as a child, ended up divorced, dealt with chemical abuse in the family or lost a loved one. These type of events are not who we are, they are the blocks that built our strength, teach us lessons and helped us determine good from bad. These moments from our past contribute to the knowledge, determination and beliefs that live inside us. They serve as the fuel, the inspiration and the will to be better, to do better and love better. We are not our past. Our past is part of us.

Open Your Heart

We are the ones who determine who and what we will be. It is us who decides if these events will make us stronger or weaker, more compassionate or resentful. The power is within each of us. We determine the outcome and we create our future. Letting go does not erase who we are, it allows us the opportunity to experience and learn more. Open your heart and let go of the darkness; it is holding you back from living the life you dream of.

Learning Tips:

As stated in my book, Power Within Her, writing is an amazing healing tool. Tonight, think about what you are holding on to and why you are doing it. What events have happened to you that you can look at differently and grow from? Are you keeping items that remind you of painful or memories? How are they serving you? What would happen if you let them go? Make room for the future and let go of what is holding you back. You don’t need it anymore.

Click Here if  you would like to share your thoughts, questions, or ideas.
Receive a complimentary one hour coaching session, 
Offer is good through January 31, 2021.

The Choices We Make

Sometimes we make choices that don’t work out the way we thought they would.

I went for a walk the other day.  My watch was set for thirty minutes so I would know when to turn around and head home. As I crossed over a bridge and I glanced down to railroad tracks and thought it would be cool to walk the tracks instead of the busy road I was on. My walk continued down the next side street and just when my timer went off, I had reached the point where the tracks crossed the road. It was ironic, but I took the unfamiliar path knowing it would take me back to the bridge. Immediately, it got quiet and it was so peaceful and beautiful. I walked with a pep in my step and a smile on my face. It was kind of freeing to just walk, not knowing where I was but confident that I would end up where I needed to be.

The Unknown

When I reached the bridge there was no path up to the main road so I kept walking.  The tracks run behind my house so  I figured I would keep walking until it became familiar. I began to get tired and  saw a house through the woods, so I tried to climb the bank to take a short cut home but it was steep and I slid back down. Fear became an issue as I thought about someone coming out of the woods to hurt me? Then it was panic, worried a train might come and I glanced to each side to see where I could go so I wouldn’t be hit or knocked down. It was tiring and I ended up tripping over my own feet and falling on the tracks. I hurt my hand and cut my leg as I let out a swear word and then sat there on the ground. “Well, you better get up, you have to walk home”, I said out loud.

As I walked, I kept looking through the woods trying to find a way home. Finally, I saw a road ahead that crossed the tracks. I was so relieved. Looking around, I knew I had never been down this road before, so again, I kept walking. Eventually I reached the main road and discovered I had gone much further than I thought.

The Reality

Today I thought about my choice to walk down the tracks and how that one choice was an example of the choices we make in life ~ We think of something and want to do it but hesitate because we don’t know where it will take us. Our choices start off exciting and interesting but then turn into hard work and we start doubting ourselves.  We create our own fear and consider quitting or turning back. We fall and get hurt and blame it on the stupid idea. But because it became scary and hard we didn’t like it anymore.

I’ve decided to that walk again tomorrow because now I know the path, the length of it, the dangers and the beauty because I did it and I explored an area that I had never been to before. I found the strength to keep going and because I didn’t give up, I went so much further than I thought I could and I made it home. It’s not about failing or getting hurt, it’s about learning, building our confidence and doing it again. It’s about living and doing what’s in our heart even if it is a little scary.

Writing Tips

Make a list of 12 things that you would like to do. They can be simple enjoyments or big goals, activities or decisions. Do one of them each month and discover you and the world around you.

Click Here if  you would like to share your thoughts, questions, or ideas.
 Receive a complimentary one hour coaching session. Offer is good through January 31, 2021.

Meaningful Mondays

We Can’t Fight The Changing Season

Let’s talk about the need for change and why change is so hard for us, even when we want it. Fall is a great time to explore change. It is a busy time, yet it is also a time for slowing down.  The leaves are changing colors, the animals gather food and create their homes, beginning their hibernation. Everything around us is changing and we adjust as it happens. It’s a natural process. For us personally, change is something quite different. It’s about willingly going into the unfamiliar. There is a feeling of safety in what we know even if it’s not good for us.

Change Needs To Happen Within Us

Let’s think about that… if we live in a state that we are unhappy with, long for something better but fear the idea of change, we willingly accept to remain unhappy. We actually choose it. It’s like putting ourselves in prison or worse, in a grave. Because if we continue to live a life we are not happy with or we stay in an abusive relationship (physical or mental) we are actually not living at all. We are allowing someone else to dictate the terms of our life, forcing us to live according to their will and not our own.

What we fail to see is the fact that change happens within us as we begin to ask questions like… Now what? Where do I go from here? What do I want? What did I say I would do but didn’t do? Why haven’t I left? Our minds begin to turn muddy with thoughts of the lack of progress. We suddenly begin to experience feelings of sadness or emptiness. We are in a process of change and with change comes the opportunity for learning. These learning moments accumulate and act as building blocks, eventually creating the foundation of our new found strength. This is the time of year when everything around us begins to change but it is also the time for us to create change.

Opportunity

The change is already happening in you. With the silence of Fall comes the space and time to look inward. We can take this season and make it work for us. When we spend the time exploring who and what we are, we bring ourselves to the core of what makes everything happen. We learn about, nurture and begin to love who we are. Fall brings the time for connection to ourselves. It is not the end of the summer, it’s the beginning of our next year to come.  The trees do not die in the fall, nor do they stop growing. They merely draw inward, nurture their roots and protect themselves as they ready for new growth.

Tips To Embrace The Season Of Change

As stated in my book, Power Within Her, the first step in making change is learning about who you are. The first tool you will need is a journal. If you don’t have a journal already, go get one!

This week, we will spend time writing about who we are, what is important to you and what makes us happy. It might sound unusual to start off this way but it is so important for us to know WHO we are before we begin to figure out WHAT we want. On the first day of the week write everything that comes to your mind that explains who you are. From there write about all the things that you don’t like and all of the things that make you happy or put a smile on your face. I call this step, becoming your new best friend. The way you develop a new best friend is by learning about them. What is their favorite song, color, holiday, etc. It’s time to spend time with you and really get to know who you are. Go for walks, garden, paint… just be with you and document all of your discoveries. Listen to your heart & enjoy your week.

Till next time…

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