Be The Gift That You Are

Shine The Light

As we go through life, we have an abundance of labels placed on us and  we play many roles. We are daughters, sisters, friends, mothers, neighbors, wives and ex-wives. The labels that are put on us vary from one extreme to another but cover things like, female, middle child, divorced, single, pretty, fat, sensitive, bitchy, unemployed and so many others. But none of these things actually say who we are. The roles are what we do and the labels are the opinions of other people. When someone asks us, “Who are you?”, we struggle with the answer. We don’t know who we are. A frequent response may be, “I’m fifty something and I have no idea who I am.” Sound familiar?

You’re Not Alone

Through the course of our lives we have managed to be there for everyone. We’ve done the cooking, cleaning, shopping and scheduling. We’ve loved, supported, nurtured and consoled all the people in our life. For years, we have put everyone first without being asked to, we just do it. But because we are so busy taking care of everybody else’s needs, we fail to address our own. No wonder we end up lost in a world that we created ourselves. Of course we reach a point where we feel alone, empty and unfulfilled. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Take The Time

The answer is easy; the process is not. You need to figure out who that girl is inside of you. Seems like an odd thing to say but that is exactly what needs to happen. The last client I said that to stared at me and said, “I don’t know how to do that. I don’t even know who I am.” My suggestion to her was to do it the same way she would if she were getting to know a friend. Spend time with her. Find out what she likes and dislikes. Discover what makes her smile and laugh.  Walk the beach with her or venture into the woods. What catches her attention? What melts her heart and what makes her feel like a kid again? What’s her favorite movie, song, ice-cream. Spend as much time with her as you can and you will discover what’s in her heart.

You Are The Gift

I can remember hearing about people who would go “find themselves” in a cabin in the woods or at a personal growth retreat.  I didn’t have the time or money to go figure out what was wrong. I discovered who I am between the bus stop and the bedtime stories. I made sure I was present in my life and every moment I got to be with me, I took it. I walked the beach, listened to music, and read motivational books. I played with my children and watched the sunrises every morning that I could. I laid in bed at night and  wrote about my day, my dreams and my goals. I learned about me and paid no mind to what others thought about me. It’s time for you to unwrap the gift that you are and discover what is inside.

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Offer is good through January 31, 2021.

Let Go Of The Past

You can’t change what has already happened. But, you can create your future!

The insanity is that we spend years and sometimes decades holding on to our past. Sometimes we can’t let go of a love that went wrong or a painful childhood that we lived. Some of us question why our parents weren’t better or why our husband was with someone else. We stop ourselves from moving forward because we are so busy looking back at what would have, could have or should have been. Why do we waste all this time? The problem is, we can’t change it and we can’t relive it. Yet we hold on and re-hash it over and over again.

“It’s Who I Am”

I was talking with a friend who has been struggling with lack of motivation. She wants to move forward, but can’t seem to do what she knows she needs to do. During our conversation, she mentioned that she saved everything from her divorce. When I asked why, she said she didn’t know, maybe the kids would want it. In addition, she told me she didn’t want to sell her parent’s house. They had been gone for years. She didn’t want the house, but it was the house she grew up in.  She couldn’t let go of the past because she was viewing it as her life. She was using it to validate who she was. What a revelation! Here she was telling me that she wants to move forward, yet she won’t let go of the past. She’s stuck.

You Are Not Your Past

Similar to the roles we play in our lives, our past does not determine who we are. We may be mothers,  sisters and co-workers, but that is not who we are, it’s what we do. It’s the same thing with our past. It could be we were neglected as a child, ended up divorced, dealt with chemical abuse in the family or lost a loved one. These type of events are not who we are, they are the blocks that built our strength, teach us lessons and helped us determine good from bad. These moments from our past contribute to the knowledge, determination and beliefs that live inside us. They serve as the fuel, the inspiration and the will to be better, to do better and love better. We are not our past. Our past is part of us.

Open Your Heart

We are the ones who determine who and what we will be. It is us who decides if these events will make us stronger or weaker, more compassionate or resentful. The power is within each of us. We determine the outcome and we create our future. Letting go does not erase who we are, it allows us the opportunity to experience and learn more. Open your heart and let go of the darkness; it is holding you back from living the life you dream of.

Learning Tips:

As stated in my book, Power Within Her, writing is an amazing healing tool. Tonight, think about what you are holding on to and why you are doing it. What events have happened to you that you can look at differently and grow from? Are you keeping items that remind you of painful or memories? How are they serving you? What would happen if you let them go? Make room for the future and let go of what is holding you back. You don’t need it anymore.

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Receive a complimentary one hour coaching session, 
Offer is good through January 31, 2021.

The Choices We Make

Sometimes we make choices that don’t work out the way we thought they would.

I went for a walk the other day.  My watch was set for thirty minutes so I would know when to turn around and head home. As I crossed over a bridge and I glanced down to railroad tracks and thought it would be cool to walk the tracks instead of the busy road I was on. My walk continued down the next side street and just when my timer went off, I had reached the point where the tracks crossed the road. It was ironic, but I took the unfamiliar path knowing it would take me back to the bridge. Immediately, it got quiet and it was so peaceful and beautiful. I walked with a pep in my step and a smile on my face. It was kind of freeing to just walk, not knowing where I was but confident that I would end up where I needed to be.

The Unknown

When I reached the bridge there was no path up to the main road so I kept walking.  The tracks run behind my house so  I figured I would keep walking until it became familiar. I began to get tired and  saw a house through the woods, so I tried to climb the bank to take a short cut home but it was steep and I slid back down. Fear became an issue as I thought about someone coming out of the woods to hurt me? Then it was panic, worried a train might come and I glanced to each side to see where I could go so I wouldn’t be hit or knocked down. It was tiring and I ended up tripping over my own feet and falling on the tracks. I hurt my hand and cut my leg as I let out a swear word and then sat there on the ground. “Well, you better get up, you have to walk home”, I said out loud.

As I walked, I kept looking through the woods trying to find a way home. Finally, I saw a road ahead that crossed the tracks. I was so relieved. Looking around, I knew I had never been down this road before, so again, I kept walking. Eventually I reached the main road and discovered I had gone much further than I thought.

The Reality

Today I thought about my choice to walk down the tracks and how that one choice was an example of the choices we make in life ~ We think of something and want to do it but hesitate because we don’t know where it will take us. Our choices start off exciting and interesting but then turn into hard work and we start doubting ourselves.  We create our own fear and consider quitting or turning back. We fall and get hurt and blame it on the stupid idea. But because it became scary and hard we didn’t like it anymore.

I’ve decided to that walk again tomorrow because now I know the path, the length of it, the dangers and the beauty because I did it and I explored an area that I had never been to before. I found the strength to keep going and because I didn’t give up, I went so much further than I thought I could and I made it home. It’s not about failing or getting hurt, it’s about learning, building our confidence and doing it again. It’s about living and doing what’s in our heart even if it is a little scary.

Writing Tips

Make a list of 12 things that you would like to do. They can be simple enjoyments or big goals, activities or decisions. Do one of them each month and discover you and the world around you.

Click Here if  you would like to share your thoughts, questions, or ideas.
 Receive a complimentary one hour coaching session. Offer is good through January 31, 2021.
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